Thank You, Ahsoka
by Fallon Skywalker
Summary: Anakin continues to struggle with the absence of Ahsoka in his life, and finally decides that he needs to get some closure if he wants to move on. R&R. Spoilers for 'The Wrong Jedi', takes place about a month after the Season 5 finale. Strictly friendship story.


_Dedicated to my friends from The Lakehouse Forums, who told me that I should keep writing The Clone Wars stuff. Thanks guys, I'm really enjoying this. I hope it makes you cry. ;-) _

Anakin held Padme's hand as the two sat side by side on the sofa in Padme's living room in her apartment, 500 Republica. Padme leaned against her husband lovingly, wishing there were something she could do to help him feel better. It'd been nearly a month since Ahsoka left the Jedi Order. Anakin had quickly gone stir crazy, he'd been alone and without his closest friend, and after all the chaos surrounding Ahsoka's trial, the Jedi Council decided to give Anakin a break from fighting, and let him have a few weeks of leave, to be used for meditation and recovery after his sudden loss of a Padawan. Unfortunately, his leave was cut into _twice_, as he was suddenly oh-so-desperately needed for a mission.

Now though, Anakin didn't care who needed him. He was with his wife, and planned on staying with her all night long. He was still upset about Ahsoka. His heart was broken, to be honest, and he wasn't sure how to cheer himself up. Padme did a good job helping him feel better, but this wound was running deeper than even she could fix.

"Ani," Padme said gently, "What's on your mind?"

Anakin sighed. He still couldn't handle that Ahsoka had left. "Ahsoka said that she knew about me wanting to leave the Order. What did she mean by that?" he thought aloud, "I said that I know how it feels to want to leave, and she said she knew. Does she know about us? Does she know that I wanted to leave the Order for you?"

Padme shrugged. "We both spend our fair share of time with her, she's probably picked up on a thing or two here and there about our relationship. It doesn't matter though, Anakin. She cares about us."

Anakin frowned. "She left me."

"She left the Jedi," Padme insisted, "She still loves you, she trusts you. You know she does. She just needs to be away from the Jedi Order. It's not your fault."

Anakin's angered expression diminished to a lost and sad look. "I let her down," he said softly, sadly, "When she needed me, I wasn't there for her. This is my fault."

Padme leaned against her husband, hugging him tight. "Don't think that way, Ani," she said, "Just let her have her space."

Anakin frowned and sighed, wrapping his arms around his wife, seeking comfort in his embrace.

"You're sad," Padme stated, "It's been weeks Anakin, you still have a job to do. You go back to the Temple in three days."

Anakin groaned, rolling his head back to hit the back of the couch. "Don't remind me," he muttered, "I'm not in the mood to go back to the _Temple_." He spat the word 'temple', as though it were bad blue milk.

"Do you blame them?" Padme asked, getting a little fed up with her husband's sulky attitude lately. "Or yourself?"

Anakin struggled, looking around with frustration. "I don't know," he admitted with a burst, "Both? The Jedi have taken so much from me…I can't bear it much longer Padme, they took my mom and Ahsoka…if they even try to take you from me I don't know what I'd do."

Padme smiled. "You know that will never happen," she assured him, kissing his cheek with love.

Anakin looked at her long and hard, taking her face in his hands lovingly. "I feel so empty," he said honestly, "I'd wake up every morning excited to be with Ahsoka…she got me through the bad days, through the hard battles, through the tough spots. She was my best friend Padme…I can't just let her go."

Padme gave him a look. She'd heard this spiel a few times now, how much he missed Ahsoka, how much he was still looking forward to doing with her, how much unwanted anger he felt toward the Jedi council, how bitter he still felt, etc. To be honest, Padme was getting tired of it. She knew this was hard for him, and when she initially found out about Ahsoka's decision, she too was shocked, but now it was just getting old. She knew how to snap him out of it too.

"She's not dead you know," Padme said bluntly after a moment of thought. Anakin stiffened and looked at her curiously.

"What?"

Padme took Anakin's gloved right hand in hers. "Ani, you speak of Ahsoka like she's dead. She isn't. She's even still on Coruscant. Why don't you go talk to her?"

Anakin's eyes widened. Was he really that stupid that he didn't even _consider_ in the course of the month to go speak with his _former_ Padawan?

The answer was yes, he was, because the thought genuinely hadn't crossed his mind. "She won't want to see me," he mumbled in an excuse, but Padme was pushing him up from the couch as he tried to protest.

"Oh please." Padme said, "Even if she doesn't, you _do_. You need closure, Anakin. Go to her. She won't be hard to find."

Anakin looked glumly at the floor. "She could be anywhere…"

Padme put a hand on her hip. "You know Ahsoka Tano better than anyone. Where would she be? She isn't at the Temple, she's not a Jedi. Where is she? What are her favorite things?"

Anakin thought a moment. "She loves to help people," he said, "She'd be doing something for the war effort…flying, repairing something, helping somehow."

Padme smiled encouragingly. "I can already think of two garages, four hangar bays besides the Temple's, and at least five refugee camps that she could be at. You better get busy, mister."

Anakin, for the first time in far too long, let a small smile slide onto his face, at the thought of seeing Ahsoka again. He, using his Jedi General status, quickly found information from colleagues and friends of his to find out where Ahsoka Tano might be volunteering or working. According to one of his street informants, Ahsoka was last signed up to help at a refugee camp in a poorer section of Coruscant, where various people who were affected by the war could stay. Housing was limited, medical care wasn't as abundant as it could be, and it just wasn't a generally good place to be. But it was where the most help was needed, and clearly was the place Ahsoka would be.

Anakin spent several hours in rush hour traffic to get to the other side of the planet, but he didn't mind. It gave him time to think, to contemplate what he'd say to Ahsoka when he saw her. Honestly, he didn't know what to say. Part of him wanted to be angry at her for leaving, but deep down he knew he could never, ever possibly be angry with her. He was mostly sad, and more than anything wanted to know why. Not that he didn't understand her motives for leaving; her distrust with the Jedi Council and the Jedi Order in general, but what he didn't understand was her distrust with herself.

When Anakin arrived at the refugee camp, he was slightly disturbed. The war he fought in day in and day out had such an effect on other people…and more often than not he never saw it. He watched as clones, medics and volunteers milled around, helping various wounded refugees. He took in the sights of the injured people, of all ages and races, and shook his head sadly, a grimace on his face. He could hear cries from various tents, screams from someone in one of the medical tents, crying children, adults speaking in hushed tones. Many people were crying.

Anakin continued to walk around, gently offering help where he could, whether it was simply a reassuring nod or smile, or helping an injured elderly lady to a cot. He kept his eyes peeled for Ahsoka, and before too long, he noticed immediately the familiar blue and white striped head-tails. He almost cried out for her, but stopped himself.

Ahsoka's back was turned, she was kneeling in front of someone. Anakin watched a moment longer before he realized that she was speaking to a small child. The little Twi-Lek girl was hugging a doll tightly, sitting on Ahsoka's knee as she knelt down. Ahsoka smiled as she talked with the young girl, reassuring her that everything would be alright.

Anakin felt tears filling his eyes before he could will them away. The little Twi-Lek girl's arm was in a sling, clutching the doll with her free arm. Ahsoka was lovingly speaking to her, encouraging her. Anakin watched the display of compassion and affection with pride. He felt like maybe he'd done something right by letting Ahsoka see the horrors of war. She was so young, and more often than not he was against the idea. But she'd learned so much. She was wise beyond her years, she had a heart full of compassion and love, knowing and having lived the hardship these refugees suffered. He felt proud for a moment, feeling like he could take credit for her good work. But he stopped himself, tears flooding his eyes. She was the person who deserved all and any credit. Ahsoka was stronger than he by far, she had always been the one to save his butt, to keep him in check, to stop him from getting too involved or upset. She was strong enough to walk away from her life, from the Jedi. She was stronger than he was, she always had been. He realized that now.

Anakin stepped closer, still out of Ahsoka's sight but close enough he could hear Ahsoka talk to the young girl.

"Soon you can go home," she told the little Twi-Lek, "My friends are rebuilding your house, and then you and your Momma and Poppa can go home. I promise."

The little girl giggled and nodded, hugging Ahsoka with the arm not in a sling. Ahsoka smiled and lifted the little girl into her arms, taking her to a small tent closeby. Anakin ducked away from her again, stepping back into the shadows. The sun was beginning to set. Anakin hadn't been able to see a sunset the same after he watched Ahsoka walk away into one.

Ahsoka stepped back out from the tent, smiling and waving at the little girl, who was now in the arms of her mother, who was thanking Ahsoka profusely in her native tongue. Ahsoka responded in kind, having picked up on foreign languages quickly.

Ahsoka turned and slowed, something catching her eye. Or rather, someone. Her breath caught, and she instantly felt emotion flood her chest.

"Anakin."

Anakin was far gone, his emotion barely held at bay. Tears hung in his eyes as he said, "Hey, Snips."

Ahsoka's expression fell and she turned away, closing her eyes to block the tears that formed in them. She had missed him more than she could ever explain, Anakin was the brother she never had, the best friend she was lucky enough to call hers, and her mentor in everything. Walking away from the Jedi Order meant losing him, she knew that, and it only made her decision all the more painful.

Anakin took a step toward Ahsoka, and she turned back to face him.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

Anakin smiled, despite his tears. "I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye," he said shakily, bringing up a hand to wipe at his tears.

Ahsoka smiled too, wiping at her tears as well. She hesitated a moment before starting toward him, and embracing him in a hug. She wasn't a Jedi anymore, the attachment rules no longer applied. She was definitely attached to her Master, to her best friend.

Anakin held Ahsoka to him, never wanting to let go. He could tell she was crying, despite how steady her breathing was. He was crying too. He missed her so much, and he could tell she missed him. He didn't want to let her go, he didn't want to say goodbye…for real this time.

"I've missed you, Anakin," Ahsoka said, her voice choked with emotion. "I'm sorry, for everything."

Anakin shook his head, still hugging her tightly. "No," he said, "Don't be sorry. _I understand_. I know how you feel, and I realize now what strength it must take for you to actually walk away, to remove yourself from the only thing you've ever known."

Ahsoka looked up at him, tears spilling down her cheeks. "It was the hardest decision of my life," she said softly, "I was terrified and upset, but I _had_ to get away. My trust was broken Anakin…not my trust in you, but my trust in the Council and the Jedi. They didn't try to help me, they didn't even hesitate in suspending me, or in assuming I was guilty. The Council have known me since I was a baby, how could they assume so much? How dare they?"

Anakin hugged Ahsoka again. "You're right," he said, "How dare they? I never doubted you Ahsoka, I only ever wanted to prove your innocence, you know that. I didn't lose faith in you!"

Ahsoka nodded gratefully. "Thank you," she said, "I know you didn't. That's why it made it so hard for me to walk away. I didn't trust them, but I'll always trust you. You've always been here for me, and I know that you always will be. And I'm sorry Anakin, sorry that I can't be there for you."

Anakin put his hands on Ahsoka's shoulders, looking her over. "I wish you could be," he said forlornly, "I need you Ahsoka."

Ahsoka felt her heart breaking all the more. She glanced down at their long shadows that were cast on the ground. She looked at Anakin's hands, his left hand not wearing a glove like it usually did, only his right hand gloved. Her eyes widened as she noted a small beaded bracelet on his wrist. Her Padawan beads.

Ahsoka gasped and stumbled back slightly, it suddenly hitting her what their relationship meant. They were more than just teacher and student, they were friends and they were practically family. Walking away from Anakin was worse than a student dropping out of a class, it was a total change of their way of life. She knew this, but seeing how Anakin wanted to honor her by still holding her Padawan beads really hurt. What hurt even more was another realization she had.

"You need me," she said softly, "But I don't need you." She met his eyes. "It isn't that I don't want you…Anakin, you're my best friend and I do care for you more than anyone else, but I'm at the point where I need to make my own decisions. I can't let you hold my hand, I can't stay with you anymore. I'm sorry."

The same expression of heartbroken realization came over Anakin's face that he wore when Ahsoka told him she wouldn't be coming back to the Order. Ahsoka's eyes brimmed with tears. "Thank you for everything," she said, "Master."

Anakin squeezed his eyes closed, knowing it was inevitable to try and stop the oncoming tears. "No," he said after a moment, his voice choked, "Thank _you_, Ahsoka. Thank you for everything. As my student, you taught me more than I taught you. I understand that you need to make your own decisions and you need to make your own path, and I trust you will do the right things. I'm very proud of you."

Ahsoka smiled. "Don't be a stranger," she said, "Just because I'm not your Padawan anymore doesn't mean we still can't be friends. Whenever you're on Coruscant, or I'm near where you are, let me know. I'll keep in touch. I know where you live."

Anakin smiled back, finally starting to come to terms with Ahsoka's resignation from the Jedi Order. She wasn't dead, Padme was right. His Ahsoka was very much alive, and doing what she loved, helping others. She was doing exactly what she said she needed to do, make her own path.

"Alright Snips," he said, "I've gotta get back home, it's late." The sun had set now, and the two friends were standing in the dark, still talking. "Call me if you ever need anything, alright?"

Ahsoka nodded. "Will do." The two shared another quick hug before Anakin began to walk away, turning to wave at Ahsoka.

"Say hi to Padme for me!" she called after him, and he smiled and laughed, agreeing, before he even realized what she had said.

"Huh?" he murmured, but Ahsoka was already starting in the direction of her own tent, laughing and smiling through fresh tears, though these were tears of happiness.

Anakin smiled contentedly as he got into his airspeeder, knowing that despite how much he would miss his Padawan, she was doing what she needed to do. She had moved on, grown up, and no longer needed her big brother to hold her hand and help her out. If she needed him, she'd call him. If he needed her, he'd suck it up, unless he was desperate, in which case he might call her instead.

"Bye Ahsoka," he said to himself as he looked at the refugee camp through the window of his airspeeder, "May the Force be with you."

_Review and tell me what you think! Maybe more TCW stuff in the future from me if you do! :-) Thanks!_


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